Comments on: Twin identity: Celebrating twinship and developing sense of self http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48 The One-Stop Internet Spot for Parents of Twins and Multiples Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:21:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.1 by: Nancy Odell http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-1822 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 08:34:12 +0000 http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-1822 <strong>Nancy Odell...</strong> Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..... Nancy Odell…

Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin…..

]]> by: Diana http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-476 Fri, 15 Jun 2007 19:35:30 +0000 http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-476 Geez, Andrew, I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you already are being respectful of property rights by listening to each child's desires and being flexible enough to go with the flow. Sure there are those times when you feel pressured to insist on sharing, but even then, it sounds like you're still treating the owner of the item as the owner. My girls are almost 4, and we have some of the same situation -- clothes that are shared vs. clothes that are designated by the girls to be off limits to the sibling. Even at their tender ages, they already have items that they don't care as much about and items that they really want to be their own. My husband and I also find ourselves pushing owners to share clothes and toys, and it's those same times as you mention -- trying to keep things calm and trying to get out the door. Again, I'm no expert, but it seems to me that people make all sorts of things work. I know two teenage sisters (not twins, but very close in age) who don't know what they'll do when the eldest goes off to college in the fall because they share all their clothes. The eldest told me that she wouldn't know what to take to college with her because everything is shared. These sisters are happy, well-adjusted, unique individuals even though they don't own any of their own clothes. I think they simply have parents who listened to them and who let them do what worked well for their family. (Of course, now, the parents will have to spring for their eldest daughter's new wardrobe ... but I guess it could be worse. :-) Geez, Andrew, I’m no expert, but it sounds to me like you already are being respectful of property rights by listening to each child’s desires and being flexible enough to go with the flow. Sure there are those times when you feel pressured to insist on sharing, but even then, it sounds like you’re still treating the owner of the item as the owner.

My girls are almost 4, and we have some of the same situation — clothes that are shared vs. clothes that are designated by the girls to be off limits to the sibling. Even at their tender ages, they already have items that they don’t care as much about and items that they really want to be their own.

My husband and I also find ourselves pushing owners to share clothes and toys, and it’s those same times as you mention — trying to keep things calm and trying to get out the door.

Again, I’m no expert, but it seems to me that people make all sorts of things work. I know two teenage sisters (not twins, but very close in age) who don’t know what they’ll do when the eldest goes off to college in the fall because they share all their clothes. The eldest told me that she wouldn’t know what to take to college with her because everything is shared.

These sisters are happy, well-adjusted, unique individuals even though they don’t own any of their own clothes. I think they simply have parents who listened to them and who let them do what worked well for their family. (Of course, now, the parents will have to spring for their eldest daughter’s new wardrobe … but I guess it could be worse. :-)

]]> by: Andrew http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-474 Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:54:36 +0000 http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-474 Thanks for these insights! As a father of adopted twins, I many times question how we handle some situations - such as getting the boys (just now 10) clothing that they can keep for themselves vs. share. It's more complicated than that - we buy some things in pairs because they want them, others are quite individual - most shirts, pants, etc, are individual, but then the kids decide to share, and sometimes fight over the other's clothing because they want to wear the other guy's xyz article of clothing. We then insist that the owner has to agree, but at times (to create peace and get out the door to school, etc), we push the owner to share. Sounds like we could be creating a problem. Should we be more respectful of individual property rights here? Thanks for these insights! As a father of adopted twins, I many times question how we handle some situations - such as getting the boys (just now 10) clothing that they can keep for themselves vs. share. It’s more complicated than that - we buy some things in pairs because they want them, others are quite individual - most shirts, pants, etc, are individual, but then the kids decide to share, and sometimes fight over the other’s clothing because they want to wear the other guy’s xyz article of clothing. We then insist that the owner has to agree, but at times (to create peace and get out the door to school, etc), we push the owner to share. Sounds like we could be creating a problem. Should we be more respectful of individual property rights here?

]]> by: Rebecca http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-465 Sun, 03 Jun 2007 03:18:17 +0000 http://www.betwinned.com/archives/48#comment-465 I am a identical twin and i am always the one being called the 'evil twin' because i am louder, outgoing and crazy where as my sister is more reserved and quite and therefore known as the 'good twin'. Is this normal? I am a identical twin and i am always the one being called the ‘evil twin’ because i am louder, outgoing and crazy where as my sister is more reserved and quite and therefore known as the ‘good twin’. Is this normal?

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