Short post here, but I just had to take a minute in the midst of packing hell to share this.
There is a new tenant in our building, and she seems to be, uh, a troubled sort. Late at night, she brings home drunken men, and there have been a number of scenes in the parking lot behind our building. Once, one of her friends threw up all the way from the parking lot to the woman’s apartment, so we were treated to piles of vomit when we came outside in the morning. Excellent.
Last night, though, her friends topped even that.
I was packing like mad yesterday, and I got tired at the end of the day and left a few things outside of the storage space — a few bins of Christmas ornaments, a few empty boxes, and a bin of bike helmets and bike gear. I vaguely thought, at one point, that I should go outside and put everything away, but I was just too tired.
So I left the stuff outside and did a little more work dismantling my office. I did think a couple more times that I should go out to move the stuff in, but I just couldn’t propel myself in that direction.
A little later, around 12:30 am, I heard the woman pull in the parking lot, and a few guys poured themselves out of her car and started staggering around. I heard them all, cursing, talking loud, and one of the neighbors yelled out of her window at the drunken revelers to shut up and watch the language.
Then, I heard a scuffle on the side of the building, and then one of the drunk guys said, “Dude, [garbled name] just pissed all over the [garbled description of something or other].”
I knew in my heart that one of the drunken idiots had just peed all over my Christmas ornaments.
I ran outside, and sure enough, there was a fresh wet spray on the wall. The amount was impressive, I’ll give him that. The liquid was pooling on the ground, threatening the neatly stacked boxes. I couldn’t even bear to look at the bins of ornaments.
I scooted out to the driveway just in time to see the woman running to her car from her apartment. I guess she knew that she needed to leave before the cops got there.
I called the cops, explaining that a drunken fool had just urinated on my Christmas ornaments. It was one of those moments when you don’t know whether to laugh or cry at how completely bizarre life can be.
When the police came, the nice officer shined his flashlight on the bins of Christmas ornaments, nicely illuminating the drops of pee, and explained that there was nothing they could do since the car and the dudes were gone.
So, my husband and I got water and doused the area and moved everything inside, which I should have done in the first place.
I guess the lesson is: you never know when someone will pee on your Christmas ornaments.