I have cancer. WTF?

by Diana on March 27, 2008 · 7 comments

in Breast cancer

My birthday comes at the end of January, and, now that I am a little over 40, it’s also the time when I’ve decided to have my annual mammogram. I had my first one last year.

This January I was very, very anxious about my health. I have been having some gastric issues for a little over a year and some pressure on the left side of my pelvis. After being basically ignored by a couple of doctors, I changed my primary doctor and he ordered a pelvic ultrasound.

That test revealed some sort of large mass — never a word one likes to hear — and it was unclear what it was. Around the same time I reported dutifully for my annual screening mammogram.

They called me back, another call no one likes to get. They said I had to return for another mammogram and an ultrasound.

I was terrified and immediately hit the Internet, looking for information about how often a mammogram callback results in a breast cancer diagnosis. I was relieved — only a little, really — to find that many people get called back after a screening mammogram. The test is imperfect, I was happy to find.

Naturally, I did a self exam and decided that I was having normal breast changes. I made a mental note to schedule my next screening mammogram after my menstrual cycle so that my breasts aren’t so dense for the test.

But, it turns out, I’ll never have a run-of-the-mill screening mammogram again, ever.

Turns out, I have breast cancer.

Right now, I am writing this, bald, after two chemotherapy treatments.

I have really grappled with whether I wanted to blog about this. I have lots of mixed feelings about it. But I’ve decided to go ahead and share my experiences. Mainly, I hope that they will bring comfort to others on the journey.

Next installment, the mammogram follow-up appointment. But now, I have to go put my two adorable cuties to bed. No more time for cancer tonight. So, sorry cancer, you’ll have to wait. I’ve got stories to read, cuddling to do.


1 Mary Anderson April 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm

I had perused your blogs some months ago and was a bit taken aback to come back and see the news of your diagnosis – not nearly as much as you and your family – I’m sure. Anyway– I was so heartened by your last paragraph when you said “No more time for cancer tonight. So, sorry cancer, you’ll have to wait.” Wow! That attitude will surely work as you are not granting it the importance to distract you from what is really important! I’m so moved, encouraged and impressed.

2 Manda April 17, 2008 at 10:44 am

Take care of yourself, and you’ll get through it! God bless you, and your kids!

3 Cheryl May 13, 2008 at 7:31 pm

Just now checking in after many months without doing so and so shocked to read your news. You DO have a great attitude. You DO have strength. You DO have a cheering squad in and out of house.

Wishing you peace and an expeditious return to health.
(My husband-our twins’ Daddy-is a cancer survivor. Thank you for being candid with your situation. Let others send good wishes and prayers up on your behalf.)

4 carol May 21, 2008 at 9:51 pm

dont’ ever stop writing! and never stop dreaming….you all looked so good this weekend….see you in town

5 Tiffany May 24, 2008 at 7:30 am

This is the first time visiting your blog. We too have twins and I found you doing a search for “twin sister phrases.”

I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I’m going to start praying for you and your healing from this.

Blessings to you and your family.

6 Michele June 9, 2008 at 7:10 am

You MUST read The Middle Place, by Kelly Corrigan. It’s wonderful.

7 trisha July 7, 2008 at 10:03 am

Would you like to exchange links with us over at MomDot? We have a moms of multiple section and would love more twin moms!


Previous post:

Next post: